she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
