I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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