She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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