So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
