first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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