Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
