TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Randomize
