She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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