The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
