The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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