And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
