My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
