it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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