your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Randomize
