I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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