Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
