i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
