You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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