yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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