Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
