end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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