i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
