Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
