Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
