He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
