So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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