If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
