After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
dude i'm inner monologue high
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
