does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
