Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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