OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
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