Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
thus making me awesome and them whores
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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