Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize