Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
