I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I looked at my own cervix.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
