She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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