I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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