she was so not down for the gang bang
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
