Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
