remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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