PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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