dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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