i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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