evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
