I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
