All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Randomize
