Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
