I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
