I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
