yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
