Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
